By Francis Grier
Deriving from a convention organised by way of the Tavistock Marital reports Institute, the current quantity attracts the focus of its inquiry from a number of basic questions.
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Extra info for Brief Encounters with Couples: Some Analytical Perspectives
W e do not live in one world, but in two . . w e live in an internal world which is as real a place to live as the outside world. . Psychic reality could be treated in a concrete way" (p. 178). This inner world of phantasies and dreams influence us as much as external events. Thus the couple's pre-disaster inner world will influence their responses to the death of a child. Furthermore, alongside their own individual inner worlds, they share another, third, inner world within their relationship: it is made up partly of their shared ideals, partly of aspects of themselves which they project into each other, and partly of shared unconscious phan tasies.
M r s A collapsed briefly f o l l o w i n g their son's d e a t h , b u t because of their j o i n t anxiety about facing such d e v a s t a t i n g feelings of p a i n a n d loss, t h e y s u p p o r t e d each other b y a p p e a r i n g p o s i t i v e . W e h e a r d t h a t M r s A conceived w i t h i n a w e e k o f the fatal accident 38 LYNNE CUDMORE & DOROTHY JUDD and had subsequently gone on to have another child. It might be that the pregnancy following so closely in the wake of the accident had inhibited mourning (Lewis & Page, 1978) and had been used unconsciously as a way of evading psychic pain and guilt.
In doing this I hope to make the point that this is a hard-won development and also to underline the importance of this capacity in the therapist w h e n it is absent in the couple. I believe that it has its roots in certain developmental tasks, the first of w h i c h is the development of thinking, the second the working through of the Oedipus complex. However, before discussing these I shall try, through examples of couples describing their difficulties at the point of coming for help, to show w h a t this couple state of mind and its absence looks like.
Brief Encounters with Couples: Some Analytical Perspectives by Francis Grier